This Is How It Always Is

This is a beautiful story. It goes something like this: First, there was Claude. But Claude felt that being a boy wasn't quite right. So around the start of kindergarten, Claude started wearing dresses. Sometimes this was a big deal (for other people), sometimes it wasn't. Claude (and Claude's parents) were just figuring it out as they went along (with the help of a very quirky (in the best way) guru cum therapist). Not long after, Claude became Poppy, and later, the family decided that it was best if no-one knew that Poppy was ever anything but. Secrets are hard to keep, though, and Frankel doesn't pull her punches on the consequences.

I can't speak to how well Frankel gets inside the head of a young child struggling to figure out whether they are boy, girl, both, or neither, or the head of the parents who only want to love and support that child (although that was easier for me). What I can say is that Frankel's portrayal of Poppy and Poppy's parents, siblings, and grandmother is nuanced and both heartwrenching and heartwarming. This book made me laugh and cry and everything in between.

PS. I actually listened to this book, and I highly recommend the audio version. Gabra Zackman, the narrator does an amazing job giving life to the voice of each character.

The Book gets too much into the mother's work near the end, which totally eludes the main focus--Poppy.

I had no idea what this book was about when I started and I am glad that I went in so blind, I may not have read it otherwise. Laurie Frankel tells a story about a family who is faced with navigating the deep and dangerous waters of having a son who struggles with gender-identity. A difficult and complex issue for any family to deal with and something any family could find themselves faced with, is something that I thing Frankel conveys in her portrait of the Rosie and Penn's family.

What I didn't find myself buying was the fairytale aspect of the story which somewhat mimics the fairytale that Penn tells his children . The story wrapped up a little too neatly and fairy tale-like, which seems contrary to the way I imagine the real story for families that are struggling with this issue.

What I feel Frankel does well is show you how a family holding one family members secret affects the entire family's lives, siblings, parents and of course the individual whose secret the family is protecting.

This was an amazing book about a family adjusting to raising a "Q" kid. Claude/Poppy is born a boy but as a toddler perferred girlie things, including dressing like a girl. Follow this story through his/her amazing Elementary/High School years and the supportive family that raised him/her. A must read!