The Vanishing Half: A GMA Book Club Pick (A Novel)

Finally came together at the end. Interesting plot.

Hard to get into it. Not my favorite.

Most of my reviews contain a synopsis and some of my own thoughts and feelings after reading. I think there are enough reviews for everyone to know what this book is about, so I'm going to focus on how it made me feel. I think that will already be a long review as it is and I know I can be long winded. Stunned is a good word for it. I am stunned. Astounded at how much I can relate to several characters even though we couldn't be more different. Astonished at the depth of emotions I feel for the characters, how much I want to know more of their story. The loneliness of Kennedy, Jude's longing for love, Desiree's sadness and emptyness after losing her sister. All of these characters spoke to me in a way that surprised me. The last few years have been hard for me, for various reasons, and it's probably the first time in my life I truly have struggled with some of these feelings as well. People don't understand if you're lonely but not alone. They assume that if you're lonely you must be isolated. There is a part where Kennedy is thinking about a play she is in, The Midnight Marauders, and it says "And even though it was bad, she'd wept when she read the script. A lonely girl living in a world surrounded only by ghosts. Nothing reminded her of her own life more." (pg 246) This resonated with me in a way that I haven't connected with anything lately. To be lonely, even with only one other person around you, feels like an oxymoron. But it's possible, when you don't connect with the people around you it doesn't matter how many people are there, it's a lonely existence. When you long for love, especially in the social media age, it makes you feel even more alone. You start to wonder what's wrong with you, why don't you have your person. You wonder if you'll ever have that, you wonder if you even have enough time left for love. It's beautiful when Jude finally finds what she's been looking for in Reese. Their love is young, and complicated, but robust. It's beautiful, so beautiful it makes you want to cry. And I don't say this lightly, very rarely do I cry over a book (or movies, TV etc). Both Jude and Reese support each other through dark times, and know that there are still dark times to come. It's inspiring to see such pure love. Losing someone important to you as Desiree did can literally change the course of your life. Even though Stella is alive, (as far as Desiree knows at least) she's still gone. I think death may have been kinder than abandonment in this situation. It would have been easier for Desiree to get over the death of her sister rather than the way that she was abandoned. To go from spending every moment with somebody to not seeing them for 25 years, and it being your twin, is a pain that I can only imagine is excruciating. Early seems to have filled part of a hole that Stella left behind in Desiree's heart. It's like putting a small triangle peg into a larger circular hole. There's still space left over but it fills it a little. Stella, is a hard nut to crack. At first you would assume she was the kinder, more loyal of the twins. But then something inside her shifts and she starts to be very selfish. I don't judge or condemn her selfishness, merely pointing it out. Some people can detach from things as a means of survival and others have a harder time with that. She did experience some terrible things, both with Desiree and on her own. And as a white woman I can never understand the feeling of being a poc, especially in the time this novel is set. So I don't feel entitled to judge Stella's choices, I just, I can't help but feel sad for her though. Sad that not only did she feel the need to abandon her sister and mother but in a way she abandoned herself too. She had to shed some of the things that made her her in order to pass herself off as a white woman. She lost parts of herself that it appears she greatly misses later in life. It seems the women in this family do have one thing in common. Even across many miles, and differing realities. They are all forced to be things they're not, do things they hate, lose parts of themselves for others. It makes me simultaneously mad and devastated for them at the injustice of it all. A friend commented on one of my progress updates and mentioned that she couldn't stop thinking about this book once she finished. That is honestly the perfect way to describe this book. It stays with you, and I can imagine it will stay with me for a while.

Super slow in the beginning. Towards the end it picked up a bit. Happy with how it ended.

Not my cup of tea